Dating is nonexistent in today's world

Photo Courtesy: Hackernoon

Is dating still a thing? Lately dating feels nonexistent in this modern world. Sometimes I wish I could live in a different decade where guys actually courted women, couples get to know each other and fall in love (cheesy, yes, but every girl wants this deep down).

I think Emma Stone in “Easy A” said it best, for once I just want my life to be like an 80s movie. “I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me.”

So what happened? Why is defining relationships so hard in modern times? Is dating a thing of the past?

In this modern day and age people can no longer say “we’re dating,” as casually as they used to. Dating in 2019 is not as easy as it was years ago. Now you have to go through all these phases and obstacles to make sure you even want to date the person you are seeing. Dating is like a mind game now and I absolutely hate that! Why can’t it be as simple as it was back then? Boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, boy and girl have a great time and go on more dates, boy and girl are now dating. Seems easy right? I would like to think so, but dating is a completely different ball game now and if you cannot tell already, I am not enjoying it too much.

Today’s dating world now consists of hooking up with a guy you met on Tinder and if you are not hooking up then you are “talking” to someone.

For those that do not know what I mean by the “talking” phase, talking is the middle ground where no one really has to sit down and define what is going on between them. You agree that you both sort of like each other, but there are no labels or discussion about having actual feelings for the other person. Sounds like a relationship every girl and guy want, right?

Every “relationship” I have had never moved passed the “talking” phase. It was so unbelievably frustrating and confusing. I never understood this phase, like is it okay for me to get mad if the guy I’m “talking” to sees other people? Do I hold their hand when where walking through the mall? How do I introduce this person to my friends and family?

“Hi mom, meet Josh. We’re kind of dating but not really because we don’t talk about it…”

You can imagine the confusion any parent would have if you told them this. Back when our parents were teens (or 20 years-old like me), if you were hanging out and talking to someone every day and sneaking in a kiss or two that was your girlfriend or boyfriend. Not a “talking” buddy.

In “The Talking Stage Of A Relationship Is Total BS--Here’s Why,” Bolde writer, Andrea Thorp, says, “The talking stage is the worst because there’s zero commitment, you can talk to other people, you never define the relationship, it can totally be secret, it drags things out forever, and it requires no effort.”

Elite Daily writer, Samantha Swift says in her article, “7 Sh*tty Realities Of Being In The We’re Talking Stage of Dating,” the ugly truth of the talking stage is that it sucks.

“It's like we put our brains and hearts through a roller coaster before we even consider labeling an official relationship. So, basically, we're going through the struggle of a relationship without the official relationship. Interesting…” says Swift.

Going on dates is not a real thing anymore. A day at an amusement park followed by a nice dinner and dessert? Forget about it! A guy will probably just take you to see a movie to avoid conversation then try to make a move on you in his car (yes, this has happened to me and I dropped the guy quicker than Kim Kardashian ended things with Kris Humphries).

I remember the days when I dreamed of walking down the stairs, with someone holding flowers at the bottom waiting to go to dinner. Now you are lucky if the guy you are going on a date with comes inside your house to make small talk and greet your parents. Seriously, when did honking your horn in someone’s driveway or texting “I’m here” become the new norm?

Dating is now a thing of the past and hooking up is the sad, but unfortunate present. It is such a disappointment that I find myself wishing my life was like an 80s movie. It would be so nice if John Hughes or Cameron Crowe could direct my love life.